Sayings about sayings.

I have a couple of things to say.

About things that people say.

I'm about to say them....

OK.  So after doing a 2 hour live show earlier, I earned myself a bit of money, and a headache.  So to treat the headache, I did what all 19 year old LADS do, I went and layed on the sofa, eating chocolate chip ice-cream and watching some shit on BBC3.         (Cherry Healey hosted it though, so it was alright.)

However, whilst delving into the very masculine dish of ice-cream and terrible telly, my phone died.  Mainly because it's a wackberry, and they always die.  

This meant two things.  One, I had no Twitter and no energy to go and put the phone on charge, and secondly, I started to actually watch Cherry Healey's dirty program on how to benefit our pointless existence.

Then I heard something, that quite frankly, dumb-founded me.  And yes, that is the first time I've ever used the phrase dumb-founded.  Basically this woman on my telly-box, was investigating how stress can cause early death, and all that bollocks.  And apparently, more people are suffering from deep stress than ever before.  So this is what Cherry said.

"For the first time, in 2011, sadly, more people had to quit their job because of stress, than because of cancer."

What.  The.  Fuck.

SADLY?  Fucking SADLY?  More people have quit work because they've been stressed than because they have cancer, is SADLY?

Now don't get me wrong, I'd hate to be so stressed that I couldn't make videos anymore, but honestly... I'd take that over cancer.  Who the fuck is sitting at home with severe stress issues thinking "Hmm, this is awful, I'd much rather have a tumour in my lungs".  Cherry, go through your scripts before you start spouting shit love.  I'd still give you one though.

Then Cherry began to interview some stupid fucking Essex bird, she had boobs bigger than Jeremy Clarkson's ego.  How long did it take this moron to spout something totally stupid?  I don't know, I didn't count, but it was pretty much instantly.

Here's what she said:

"I'm like marmite really, you love me, or you hate me".

- sigh -

I've always hated that fucking cliché, it grinds my fucking brain.  (Not gears, I am a human, I don't have clogs).

People like a lot of things which others don't, for instance, I hate cheese, a lot of people love it.  Why don't people say    "I'm like cheese, you either love me or you hate me?"  it makes just as much sense.

I suppose we'd draw the line at "I'm like child porn, you either love me, or you hate me?".

Unless you're in a Catholic church, in which, it's a brilliant analogy. 

Oh, and the last saying, I fucking hate.  Is when somebody says 

"There is nothing worse than - for example - toothache".

Yeah, toothache is pretty bad, but I'd probably guess that being raped by your Dad whilst he punched your baby sister in the face is probably worse than toothache.  Or the holocaust, that's a bit worse too.  So don't walk around all day saying stuff like "Uhhhhh, there's nothing worse than getting a spot!"

Try getting AIDS.

That's all.

I'm happy, aren't I?

Smile.

There's nothing worse than being moody.